Recommended Reading

The fish trap exists because of the fish; once you've gotten the fish, you can forget the trap. . . Words exist because of meaning; once you've gotten the meaning, you can forget the words.

- Chaung Tzu, Basic Writings

Reading is an adventure, a process of discovery, for me. Even for those who don't usually enjoy reading, I believe that the right book at the right time can transform you and your reading experience. This list of books is a living document, and I will update it as I encounter books that inspire me and that I think might inspire you too. I have organized the list into the following categories:

Finding meaning in your struggles
Symbols, images, dreams, myths, and archetypes
Relationships
Career and work
Growth of the individual in fiction

Finding Meaning in Your Struggles

Man's Search for Meaning – Viktor E. Frankl

Frankl was a psychiatrist who was imprisoned in and survived the Nazi concentration camps. In this inspiring book, Frankl emphasizes that, while we cannot avoid suffering, we can choose how we respond to it. He describes how finding meaning in his experiences helped him survive and how this is the unique task we are all given in our lives.

Living Like You Mean It – Ronald J. Frederick

Ron Frederick provides a practical guide about the value of our emotions, how we loose touch with them, and how we can increase our ability to be open to them. When we avoid our emotions (which he calls "feelings phobia"), we lose a precious guide for knowing what we need and want in life.

Symbols, Images, Dreams, Myths, and Archetypes

Man and His Symbols – Carl G. Jung, Marie-Louise von Franz, Joseph L. Henderson, Aniela Jaffe, Jolande Jacobi

This book is Carl Jung's (I believe, successful) attempt to bring his ideas to an everyday audience. Jung and his coauthors explain the importance of symbols as bridges to our unconscious. These symbols take many different forms—dreams, mythology, fairy tales, rituals, art—and offer a way for us to come to know and live a complementary existence with our unconscious. If you have the opportunity to read the version of this book that includes pictures and illustrations, the images nicely enhance the reading material.

The Power of Myth – Joseph Campbell with Bill Moyers

This book documents an engaging conversation between Joseph Campbell, widely considered the world authority on mythology, and the journalist, Bill Moyers. They discuss the common themes of many different world myths and how myths are still relevant and present in modern life. Because myths present the many dimensions, dilemmas, and trials of the human experience, they offer guidance and call us to a greater awareness of ourselves. This book is a companion to the PBS television series, which I also recommend.

Goddesses in Everywoman – Jean Shinoda Bolen

Jean Shinoda Bolen brings the ancient Greek goddesses to life by examining how they can manifest in an individual woman's life. She devotes a chapter to each goddess, and her descriptions of their characteristics provide a unique means of self-reflection. Reading through the descriptions also allows a woman to see that she is never just one person or one set of qualities—she is multifaceted, and she can cultivate the qualities of different goddesses within her to find greater satisfaction and joy in life.

Gods in Everyman – Jean Shinoda Bolen

Jean Shinoda Bolen takes the same approach as in the book above, presenting the ancient Greek gods as sets of qualities that men will see in themselves and can use as tools for self-understanding and growth.

Bullfinch's Mythology and any other books of myths or fairy tales

With a reference back to The Power of Myth book I recommend above, any book of mythology or fairy tales is not only entertaining, but when read as a metaphor, can speak deeply to experiences in your own life. As with any symbol (which I describe on the Symbols and Images page), encountering the right myth at the right time can simultaneously capture your feelings about a situation, soothe those feelings, compel you to pause and look more deeply at the situation, and reveal new possibilities for how you might choose to respond or act.

Trickster Makes This World – Lewis Hyde

Lewis Hyde examines the archetype of the Trickster, a mischievous figure found throughout myths and tales of many different cultures. He is, as Hyde says, "a boundary-crosser," and Hyde uses several examples of real-life people to show how culture's ability to endure depends on figures who challenge its very foundation. I recommend this book because we benefit greatly, not just in therapy but also in life, from recognizing the transformative value of disruptive trickster energy—even if it does make us squirm.

Relationships

The Eden Project: In Search of the Magical Other – James Hollis

James Hollis explores how we often look to the other person in a relationship to rescue us and, for this reason, how relationships call us to a larger personal responsibility: to look more closely at ourselves, to become aware of those things we are looking to the other person to provide for us, and to learn to provide those things for ourselves. He emphasizes that the book is not intended as guide on how to fix a relationship, but as a call to a deeper consideration of what it means to be in relationship with another person.

Mating in Captivity – Esther Perel

Esther Perel takes a very interesting look at why the sex life of couples in the domestic realm frequently loses its passion. She suggests that it is precisely the qualities we seek in close, long-term relationships (closeness, mutuality, and equality) that extinguishes desire. In the end, Perel says, we must allow ourselves to experience some risk and uncertainty if we are to restore passion.

Career and Work

A Life at Work – Thomas Moore

Thomas Moore offers a useful and encouraging guide on what it means to have work that is connected with your soul and how finding that work is a life's journey where the process matters as much as the product. He describes how we can find ourselves through our work and how our work shapes who we are, and he offers suggestions for "hearing the call and doing what you were born to do" (p. xvi). The book is an inspiring read for anyone who wants more in their work, particularly those who are not sure where to start in finding it.

The Soul's Code – James Hillman

James Hillman uses the analogy of the acorn and the examples of many famous people to describe how our character, including our eccentricities, and chance happenings are the movements of our true self: the soul insisting on its intended, unique path. Honoring and making space for those movements, however peculiar, is the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves and those around us, especially our children, Hillman says. Hillman's writing style itself reflects the dancing, dipping, downward-growing direction of soul that he describes, and one completes the book with a new appreciation for the beauty and meaning of people's quirks, struggles, and abilities.

Growth of the Individual in Fiction

The Lord of the Rings – J.R.R. Tolkien

There are many excellent characters in this classic trilogy who grow in many different ways. In particular, the story of Aragorn is an especially inspiring version of the archetypal hero story.

The Power of One – Bryce Courtenay

This is the story of a young English boy, Peekay, growing up in South Africa during World War II. Courtenay beautifully describes Peekay's inner world and the many memorable characters he meets. And as with any individual, Peekay impacts and inspires the people around him as much as they influence him.

The Mermaid Chair – Sue Monk Kidd

The story is about a married woman, Jessie, who finds herself with many questions as she feels drawn to a different, larger life. She feels torn between the competing pullings of obligation and inspiration, the everyday and the spiritual, the familiar and the erotic, and her process of searching gradually leads her to a deeper connection with herself.